Something to Wright Home About: October 2011

As a Type A Mama, I'm of course still swimming in books on how to raise a little one. Not that I'm convinced they're helping or anything, but because I can't help myself. My current obsession? Play time.

Exhibit A

Putting down a baby to sleep? Check. How to change a diaper? Easy breezy. Feeding? Done and done (well, almost ... in my defense, I'll quote my friend Jamey, "Breastfeeding is rocket science.") But play time? It's kind of freaking me out. Not only does it NOT come naturally to me, but brain development is on the line. No pressure.

About every three hours, having just been changed and fed, Adeline makes eye contact with me with a look that says, "Whatcha got, lady?" It's "alert time" ... 10-20 minutes of brain stimulating hang out time. (They really should download you on this stuff before they let you leave the hospital). Which is where, Exhibit A comes in. Intermixed with endless mind-numbing research on the proper wiring of a child's brain, are practical play time tips like: Position a mirror in front of your baby during tummy time; talk in "Parentese" - very slow, deliberate and encouraging; shake a rattle in front of their face and see if they can "track it" as you move from left to right; stick your tongue out and see if they can mirror you; and so on and so forth.

But if only it were that easy! The more you know, the more you know how much you don't know. Which is why we're attending a class next month at "all the rage" The Pump Station in Santa Monica -- "Developmental Play: 0 to 6 Months." (And clearly I'm not the only parent obsessing about this topic because last month's class was sold out ... duh - of course I already tried to get her in ... what kind of Mom do you think I am!? It's for ZERO month olds ... which means we're already 2 months behind!)

Parenting perfection, right? I'm reading the right books, attending the right classes ... our baby is clearly on the genius track. But here's the glitch in this otherwise perfect scenario. And I quote the book: "Red flag: if it takes longer to fight through traffic jams to get to the fun baby yoga together-time class than the class itself lasts, it's probably not a wise choice. Instead, use the time you'd have spent driving to and from class and in the class to do something relaxing, freeing, and fun with your child at home."

Errrrrrrckkk!!! (That was my attempt at the sound of grinding breaks). This EXACTLY describes EVERY time you leave the house in L.A. This city has notoriously bad traffic and I'm living proof. A trip to the pediatrician takes three hours ... leaving 45 minutes to go four miles, another half hour to park (and walk from said parking spot), sit and wait for your appointment, endure appointment, and retrace your steps back to your car a mile away, and bumper to bumper it all the way home. It's exhausting. Not only that - but it's downright expensive, depressing and even dangerous. According to USNews.com:

In major U.S. cities, the length of the combined morning-evening rush hour has doubled, from under three hours in 1982 to almost six hours today.
The average driver now spends the equivalent of nearly a full workweek each year stuck in traffic.
Studies repeatedly show that people making long commutes are at a higher risk for a host of maladies. High blood pressure, sleep deprivation, and depression top the list.
On a typical day, the average married mother with school-age children spends 66 minutes driving, taking more than five trips and covering 29 miles.
According to the most recent federal data, the amount of time mothers spend behind the wheel increased by 11 percent just between 1990 and 1995, and there's every indication that the trend is continuing.
Moms spend more time driving than they spend dressing, bathing, and feeding a child.
Some 42,000 people are killed in auto crashes each year, and 3 million are injured.

How's that for perspective. I'm trying to be a good Mom, and ensure her brain is wiring properly, but if you thought I was afraid of play time, I'm now terrified of my car. Which begs the question ... WHAT ARE WE DOING IN LOS ANGELES?????????????!

Exhibit B

That being said ... I'm TELLING you -- I may have to just pretend I don't know any of this. We've been cooped up at home for two months, and frankly, we're driving each other a little nuts. (I mean, I'm a good Mom and all, and I'm pretty sure she digs me, but observe Exhibit B ... clearly, she could use a little break ... and maybe some fresh air).

So now we've come full circle. I'm still a mess when it comes to play time as I try to figure out what "something relaxing, freeing, and fun with your child at home" is, but I'm also committed to NOT raising her from the back seat of my car, as she faces AWAY from me in her car seat. I understand kids need breaks, but surely, that's not an optimal brain wiring activity. I suppose this is just the beginning of "trying to find balance" - a seemingly impossible task as I see it now, just starting out at this parenting thing. But ... ready or not ... buckle up ... and wish us luck!