Monday, December 20, 2010

Upgrade!

I think I may have just experienced my first mother's guilt-induced upgrade at EZ Lube.

My conversation that typically goes something like this .... :
  • EZ Lube: Mam, here's the list of all the things we suggest you take care of today. Change oil, replace filter, rotate tires, clean engine oil, and change power steering oil.
  • Me: Just the oil change, thanks.
  • EZ Lube: Mam, the performance of your car depends on these things being in top working order and there are risks involved for neglecting them.
  • Me: Yah, I'll talk to my husband about that, just the oil change, thanks.
  • EZ Lube: Sign here that we're not liable, thanks.
  • Me: Sure, no problem! There you go!

Instead went kind of like this ... :
  • EZ Lube: Mam, there's a bunch of stuff we recommend you take care of today.
  • Me, interested: Really, ok. Like what?
  • EZ Lube: Blah blah blah (is pretty much what I heard)
  • Me: Wow, is it unsafe if I don't go ahead?
  • EZ Lube: It could be.
  • Me: Hmm....(Thoughts running wild -- You're on the road 60 miles a day! You could get a blow out! Think of the baby! Don't be a bad mom! Do the right thing!)
  • Me: Yes, ok, whatever you say.
  • EZ Lube: That will be $100.
  • Me: Wow, OK, but money well-spent!

That was definitely my most expensive oil change to date, but hey, safety first! I'm sure this is only the beginning of many guilt-induced, rationalized expenditures to come in the next 7.5 months!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Definition of Insanity


The actual definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly, and expecting different results. Ordinarily, I'd recommend abstaining. However, in the case of pregnancy tests, you really should go through a box, or two.

Why? For one, you never know. It COULD be wrong! Number 2, the timing on those things are crazy and the odds are you're taking it too early for all the special hormones in your body to create that coveted plus sign, and number 3, after tons of minus signs, it's soooooooooooooooooooooooooo fun to see a PLUS sign!

And how do I know you ask? Because I was privy to that fun little surprise last week! So it's official - although no one will see this blog because it's far too early to be making those kinds of official announcements. In fact, I don't even get in to see my doctor until the first week of January. So until then, let's see how many boxes I go through, in the spirit of calmed nerves.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Pregnancy Stinks

As if pregnant women didn't have enough to look forward to (stretch marks, fatigue, lack of anything fun to eat or drink - I believe I covered that important topic in blog 1, and raging hormones, to name a few) apparently, one of the tell-tale signs you're pregnant is an unusually heightened sense of smell.

According to What to Expect Before You're Expecting you should be on the look out for "smell sensitivity" while TTC.  "Does your nose know something you don't know (but are hoping for?) Some newly pregnant women report a heightened sense of smell early on - and that could be owing to the increasing amount of estrogen in your system during early pregnancy. If your sniffer's suddenly more sensitive (and easily offended) pregnancy might be in the air."

Easily offended? Oh boy! Sounds fun! Perhaps this is God's twisted way of preparing women for diapers? But really? Did he have to throw in a dog's sense of smell for anything untoward? To me, this seems outrageously unfair, given the fact my gag reflex has a hair trigger. Of course, this brings up the other incredibly unjust aspect of this phenomenon .... of course I think I'm pregnant every time I turn the corner.

First I was accosted by a quart of milk that - according to the date - had one more perfectly good day. And PS - I would never EVER smell milk to make sure it's fresh (that's just gross.) I was about to pour it into coffee when I about keeled over and died from a waft of it.
  • Me: "Jared, UGH, smell this milk. Gross!!! Is it sour?
  • Jared: "It smells like milk, milk isn't supposed to smell good." 
  • Me, more insistent this time: "But seriously, smell it again. Is that normal? No way. It's sour milk."
  • Jared: "Wait, it's cuz you think you're pregnant, huh!!!!!" Followed by some good natured ridicule about how I'm totally psyching myself out.
That pretty much describes about 10 subsequent conversations over the next few days, pertaining to various smelly things, such as a wicked bush we walked by on the way to the gym, the gym itself, and a mysterious garlic smell that strangles me every time I open the fridge. Common theme? Me, convinced I've got super human smelling powers, and Jared, convinced, that nothing smells out of the norm (always sure to throw in the disclaimer that he has allergies, presumably, so that if I am pregnant, I technically won't be able to say "I told you so."

The kicker? What to Expect When You're Expecting continues: "But (and there's always a but) some women also experience this smell surge during PMS." The most cruel thing about this whole TTC process is that pregnancy symptoms are virtually indistinguishable from PMS. Really? Boo on that God! Throw us a bone so we'll know if we can enjoy our favorite ahi burger and a good IPA! Until then ... smell ya later! - Dawn.